The "I Am" Challenge

Growing up in the South, I was often warned against getting too big for my britches, forgetting where I came from, tooting my own horn, and acting like I was above my raisin’, on a high horse, all high and mighty, high falutin’, or puttin’ on airs.

Whew! Is it any wonder I still have trouble knowing and claiming my own worth?

No doubt, this advice was given with the best of intentions—to help me fit into society and not be a rude, conceited, arrogant person no one wanted to be around.

The unfortunate—and no doubt unintended—result, though, was that I have spent a lot of time and energy making sure I was small enough, polite enough, and “normal” enough to go unnoticed.

I know I’m not alone in receiving these kinds of lessons as a child, and let’s face it, we’re still receiving them today.

That fact is never more obvious than when I support people through a discernment process that includes an exercise in which they claim who and what they are with two simple words: I Am.

The step comes after releasing the kinds of false beliefs, fears, and self-imposed limitations that prevent them from living the life they want to live. At that point, they are in an open, expansive space, and the exercise invites them to fill that space with capital-T Truths about themselves.

They freeze up so fast, you’d think Elsa from the movie Frozen had just blasted them!

If you think I’m exaggerating, try it for yourself. Right now, say out loud 10 fabulous and true things about yourself starting with the words “I Am.” Go ahead. I’ll wait.

[Jeopardy theme music plays]

How did it go? If you boldly claimed “I Am fabulous, beautiful, smart, amazing, kind, compassionate, loving, wonderful in all ways, powerful, and strong”—or something similar—good for you! You don’t have to read the rest of this blog

If you didn’t, consider sticking with me for a just a bit longer.

First, let me say, I get it. Most of us are not used to putting something positive after the words “I Am.” Normally, we save “I Am” for describing what is going on with us that isn’t working. For example, if I have to hear myself say “I Am tired” one more time, I’m going to stop listening!

Second, most of us are uncomfortable accepting the positive attributes about ourselves, let alone saying them out loud! Just think about how most people receive a compliment:

Sincere person offering a compliment: Wow! You did an amazing job at XYZ. You are really ABC!

Some of us when faced with a compliment: Noooo. Anybody could do XYZ. And did you see where I messed up PQR? Yeah, I’m actually LMNO, not ABC.

Clearly, this is someone who never wants to get too big for their britches!

Third, knowing your own worth is nearly impossible in a society where companies make billions of dollars selling us products and lifestyles they promise will make us awesome, amazing, brilliant, creative, human beings when we are already awesome, amazing, brilliant, creative, and so much more.

Finally, for some of us, claiming the capital-T Truth about ourselves can be scarier than thinking we are not all that and a bag of chips (which we totally are). As Marianne Williamson brilliantly wrote,

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

If you’re ready and willing to shine as children do and to step out of the comfortable shadows that have hidden your light, then I invite you to take part in the I Am Challenge.

It’s quite simple. For the next 21 days, spend at least 5 minutes a day claiming who you are without hedging or hiding your light. For 5 minutes each day, say out loud “I Am,” followed by something positive.

This will probably be super uncomfortable, which is awesome! Growth and change aren’t comfortable, but they are worth it.

Even though it sounds like a simple exercise, it is a powerful one, so here are some tips to help you get started and keep going.

• Keep it simple: When claiming the Truth of who and what you are, stick with one-word adjectives that speak to what you are rather than what you do. Choose “I am fabulous” over “I am fabulous at…” You are definitely fabulous at so many things you do, but focusing on an activity can lead to comparison. “I am fabulous at making sugar cookies” can trigger the thought “but not as good as my sister.”

• Welcome the discomfort that comes with this exercise. Claiming “I Am [something positive]” is definitely going to awaken all the voices in your head that have told you and may still be telling you that you are not that something positive. When I first claimed “I am smart,” my brain immediately said, “Then you can’t be pretty” and “But not as smart as…” Welcome these false beliefs and then tell them what liars they are. If you’re having trouble getting started, think about what the person who loves you the most would say about you and claim that for yourself. Or, think about the traits and characteristics of people you admire. The people around us are reflections of ourselves, so if you admire someone’s courage, generosity of spirit, or determination, go ahead and add those behind your “I Am.”

• Finally, and most importantly, have fun! Be creative! Claim and celebrate every “little” positive thing about yourself! Challenge yourself to never repeat words! Use a thesaurus for inspiration! Ask those who love you how they would describe you!

Naming and claiming your amazing attributes, qualities, and characteristics may feel strange to begin with, and that’s okay. It did for me, too. But it also made me feel more confident, helped me love myself more, and opened the door to transformation. I hope it does the same for you!